The Seinfeld Lists

 The Kramer Pseudonyms | The George Hirings | The George Firings | The Bob Sacamano | The Movies (Fake) | The Foods | The Movies (Real) | The Clowns | The Movies (Nods) | The Who Is This? | The Michigan | The Celebrities | The Larry David | The Best

The Kramer Pseudonyms

This list is a compliation of times where Kramer has used a fake name.
Season Episode Title Hulu Wikipedia Script
3 9 The Nose Job Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nose_Job https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheNoseJob.html
In this episode, Kramer goes by the name of Professor Peter van Nostrand when he poses as Elaine's fiance in an attempt to get his jacket back from Babs' former lover who is now in prison.
4 23 The Pilot (Part 1) Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pilot_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePilot.html
In this episode, Kramer wants to play himself on the NBC pilot. In order to get an audition, he goes by the name of Martin van Nostrand.
6 21 The Fusilli Jerry Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fusilli_Jerry https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheFusilliJerry.htm
In this episode, Kramer mistakenly receives the wrong vanity plates from the DMV. He is refered to by (and eventually embraces) the nickname The Assman.
8 5 The Package Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Package_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePackage.htm

In this episode, Kramer attempts to get Elaine's medical chart by posing as Dr. Martin van Nostrand from the Hoffer-Mandale Clinic in Belgium.

Also notable in this scene is the fact that Kramer apparently doesn't know Elaine's last name after 7+ seasons...
KRAMER: Bennett, right?
ELAINE: Benes. My last name is Benes, you jackass.

8 20 The Millennium Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Millennium_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMillennium.html
In this episode, Kramer goes by the name of H.E. Pennypacker, a wealthy American industrialist looking to open a silver mine in the mountains of Peru.
9 7 The Slicer Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Slicer https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSlicer.html
In this episode, Kramer goes by the name of Dr. Martin van Nostrand when he is conducting a sham cancer screening at Kruger Industrial Smoothing. He's seen moles so big they have their own moles. Freckles that cover two men.
9 10 The Strike Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Strike_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheStrike.htm
In this episode, Kramer does not intentionally use a pseudonym. However, when both he and Mr. Kruger attend the same Festivus dinner at the Costanzas' house, Kruger recognizes him as Dr. Martin van Nostrand from Season 9 Episode 7 (The Slicer).
9 20 The Puerto Rican Day Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Puerto_Rican_Day https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePuertoRicanDay.htm
In this episode, Kramer once again reprises his role of H.E. Pennypacker. This time he is not only a wealthy industrialist, but also a philanthropist and bicyclist.

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The George Hirings

This list is a compilation of times George has started a new job.
Season Episode Title Hulu Wikipedia Script
3 11 The Alternate Side Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Alternate_Side https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheAlternateSide.htm
In this episode, George starts a job working for Sid's Parking Services. What's a young man like George want to move cars for? He doesn't work?
George keeps this job for zero episodes until Season 3 Episode 11 (The Alternate Side).
3 12 The Red Dot Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Red_Dot https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheRedDot.htm
In this episode, George starts a job working for Pendant Publishing. Say you got a big job interview and you're a little nervous. Well, throw back a couple shots of Hennigans and you'll be as loose as a goose and ready to roll in no time. And because it's odorless, why, it will be our little secret.
George keeps this job for zero episodes until Season 3 Episode 12 (The Red Dot).
3 17 The Boyfriend (Part 1) Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boyfriend_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBoyfriend1.htm
In this episode, George does not technically start a job. It instead focuses on his attempts to obtain a thirteen week extension to his Unemployment Benefits. George has been looking for work. But he's discovered it's not so much the looking as the listening. He listens for work. And as he's looking and listening he is also looking. You can't discount looking. It's sort of a combination. It's looking and listening; listening and looking. But you must look.
George keeps this job for up to twenty-nine episodes until Season 4 Episode 23 (The Pilot - Part 1).
4 23 The Pilot (Part 1) Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pilot_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePilot.html
In this episode, George starts a job working as a Writer (NBC) after he and Jerry pitch a show to the network. George is worried that God would never let him be successful.
George keeps this job for up to three episodes until Season 5 Episode 2 (The Puffy Shirt).
5 2 The Puffy Shirt Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Puffy_Shirt https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePuffyShirt.htm
In this episode, George starts a job working for Specialty Models as a hand model. George's hands remind people of legend Ray McKigney. Ray had the most exquisite hands you've ever seen. Oh, he had it all. He could've had any woman in the world. But none could match the beauty of his own hand. And that became his one true love...
George keeps this job for up to two episodes until Season 5 Episode 4 (The Sniffing Accountant).
5 4 The Sniffing Accountant Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sniffing_Accountant https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSniffingAccountant.htm
In this episode, George starts a job working for E. DeGranmont. George has never sold a woman's line before. But he has a very good repute with women. Very good. Top form. And the first time he laid his eyes on brassieres, he was enthralled.
George keeps this job for up to four episodes until Season 5 Episode 8 (The Barber).
5 8 The Barber Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Barber_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBarber.htm
In this episode, George starts a job working for SanaLac. During the interview, Mr. Tuttle says "I want you to have this job. Of course..." but then has to take another call. George leaves the interview not knowing whether he has the position and decides to just show up for work anyway. He spends the majority of the episode wasting time and doing trivial non-work on the Penske file.
George keeps this job for zero episodes until Season 5 Episode 8 (The Barber).
5 22 The Opposite Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Opposite https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheOpposite.htm
In this episode, George starts a job working for the New York Yankees. During the interview George does the opposite of what he would normally do, which includes insulting and berating George Steinbrenner. During his tenure with the Yankees, George eventually gets promoted to Wilhelm's job and they replace George's position with an intern Keith who comes in on Mondays.
George keeps this job for sixty-nine episodes until Season 8 Episode 21 (The Muffin Tops).
9 1 The Butter Shave Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Butter_Shave https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheButterShave.htm
In this episode, George starts a job working for Play Now Sports. Mr. Thomassoulo hire him at least in part because he believes George is disabled (due to him using a cane after a butter-shaving slip/injury). George is about to come clean until he hears that he will have his own private, fully-equipped bathroom.
George keeps this job for up to two episodes until Season 9 Episode 3 (The Serenity Now).
9 3 The Serenity Now Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Serenity_Now https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSerenityNow.htm
In this episode, George starts a job working for Costanza and Son selling computers. Frank Costanza is not 'dad' in the workplace. His professional name is Mr. Costanza, and George will be referred to as 'Costanza'.
George keeps this job for up to two episodes until Season 9 Episode 7 (The Slicer).
9 7 The Slicer Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Slicer https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSlicer.html
In this episode, George starts a job working for Kruger Industrial Smoothing. Mr. Kruger could go either way with George...but what the hell, they need someone.
George keeps this job for up to seventeen episodes until the end of the series.

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The George Firings (and Quittings)

This list is a compilation of times George has left a job, either by his own choosing or by being fired.
Season Episode Title Hulu Wikipedia Script
2 7 The Revenge Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Revenge_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheRevenge.htm
In this episode, George loses his job working for Rick Barr Properties.
George kept this job for {unknown} episodes having started in Season ? Episode ?.
3 11 The Alternate Side Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Alternate_Side https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheAlternateSide.htm
In this episode, George loses his job working for Sid's Parking Services.
George kept this job for zero episodes having started in Season 3 Episode 11 (The Alternate Side).
3 12 The Red Dot Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Red_Dot https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheRedDot.htm
In this episode, George loses his job working for Pendant Publishing.
George kept this job for zero episodes having started in Season 3 Episode 12 (The Red Dot).
4 18 The Old Man Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Old_Man_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheOldMan.htm
In this episode, George does not actually get fired from a job. Instead, he is "fired" from his volunteer work with the elderly.
8 20 The Millennium Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Millennium_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMillennium.html
In this episode, George does not actually get fired. Through a series of increasingly comedic attempts, he tries unsuccessfully to get fired from the New York Yankees with the intent of taking a better position with the New York Mets.
8 21 The Muffin Tops Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Muffin_Tops https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMuffinTops.htm
In this episode, George finally loses his job with the New York Yankees after Steinbrenner trades him to Tyler Chicken for a bunch of chicken dogs, twists, and some kind of fermented chicken drink.
George kept this job for sixty-nine episodes having started in Season 5 Episode 22 (The Opposite).

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The Bob Sacamano

This list is a compilation of times where Kramer's friend Bob Sacamano is mentioned.
Season Episode Title Hulu Wikipedia Script
2 8 The Heart Attack Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Heart_Attack https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheHeartAttack.htm
In this episode, George is lying in a hospital bed after suffering a heart attack scare. Kramer states that his friend Bob Sacamano came to the same hospital for a hernia operation and is now sitting around in a chair by the window going {comically high-pitched voice} "My name is Bob."
3 2 The Truth Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Truth_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheTruth.htm
In this episode, the woman that George is dating has checked herself into a psychiatric hospital. Kramer states that his friend Bob Sacamano had shock treatments but that because his synapses were so large it had no effect.
3 16 The Fix-Up Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fix-Up https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheFixUp.html
In this episode, Kramer states that his friend Bob Sacamano just got a job at a condom factory in Edison, New Jersey. He gave Kramer a gross (12 dozen) of condoms in a paper bag. We later find out that the condoms are defective.
5 3 The Glasses Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Glasses https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGlasses.html
In this episode, Elaine is bit by a dog. Kramer asserts that she has rabies just like his friend Bob Sacamano.
7 19 The Wig Master Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wig_Master https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheWigMaster.htm
In this episode, George is complaining about Susan's friend staying with them for two weeks. Kramer tells him that Bob Sacamano stayed with him once for a year and a half.
8 6 The Fatigues Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fatigues https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheFatigues.html
In this episode, Elaine misses a Bob Sacamano party because the mailroom at the J. Peterman company didn't deliver her invitation for three weeks.
8 8 The Chicken Roaster Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chicken_Roaster https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheChickenRoaster.htm
In this episode, Jerry and Kramer have switched apartments. Elaine is trying to replace an $8000 Russian sable hat which she bought on the Peterman expense account and which was subsequently left behind by George at the apartment of a woman he was attempting to date. Jerry asks her if she knows his friend Bob Sacamano. When Elaine says to him that she thought he was Kramer's friend, Jerry replies that "He called last night about 3am." and "We got to talking." Jerry tells Elaine that Bob Sacamano sells Russian hats down at Battery Park for 40 dollars.
8 14 The Van Buren Boys Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Van_Buren_Boys https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheVanBurenBoys.htm

In this episode, Elaine is tasked with writing J. Peterman's autobiography. Peterman hears Kramer's story of his run-in with the Van Buren Boys and purchases this story along with the stories of all his other adventurous hijinks. As Elaine is transcribing Kramer's "Bob Sacamano Story" she becomes frustrated when she discovers the story has nothing to do with Bob Sacamano other than the fact that Kramer is on the phone with him when the story begins and instead is a story about returning a pair of pants.

ELAINE: What happened to Bob Sacamano?
KRAMER: Well, nothing. His part of the story is done.

Later on, at a gathering in a bar, one of Kramer's friends says that Ramirez has never heard the pants story. Kramer once again starts to tell the story by saying he had Bob Sacamano on the phone...

9 15 The Wizard Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wizard_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheWizard.htm
In this episode (which is set mostly at Jerry's parents' retirement community, Del Boca Vista, Phase 3), Kramer tells Jerry that Bob Sacamano's father can get him a good deal on Wizard Electronic Organizers. When they instead turn out to be "Willard" and not Wizard, Jerry exclaims "Sacamano senior screwed me!"
9 20 The Puerto Rican Day Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Puerto_Rican_Day https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePuertoRicanDay.htm
In this episode, Jerry makes a comment about the classic toy consisiting of a paddle with a ball and rubber band. Kramer says that his friend Bob Sacamano made a fortune off of them. He goes on to say that Sacamano came up with the idea for the rubber band. Before that, he says, people would just hit the ball and it would fly away.

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The Movies (Fake)

This list is a compilation of the fictional movies mentioned throughout the series.
Season Episode Title Hulu Wikipedia Script
2 8 The Heart Attack Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Heart_Attack https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheHeartAttack.htm
In this episode, the movie Flaming Globes of Sigmund appears on Jerry's television. Jerry scribbles down a note, goes back to sleep, and is later unable to decipher what he wrote.
3 4 The Dog Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dog_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheDog.htm

In this episode, George and Elaine decide to go see the fictional movie Ponce de Leon because neither Jerry nor Kramer are able to go to the fictional movie Prognosis Negative the four had planned to see together.

Ponce de Leon is also mentioned in Season 4 Episode 14 (The Movie) where it is revealed that George loved the movie while Elaine hated it. Prognosis Negative is hinted at in Season 4 Episode 20 (The Junior Mint) when Elaine describes Roy Kordic's condition as "prognosis negative".

4 14 The Movie Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Movie https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMovie.htm
In this episode, the the group is going to see the fictional movie Checkmate and George discovers the fictional movie Rochelle, Rochelle is playing at the same theater. Men can sit through the most boring movie if there's even the slightest possibility that a woman will take her top off.
4 21 The Smelly Car Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Smelly_Car https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSmellyCar.htm
In this episode, George has rented Rochelle, Rochelle. He defends it to Susan as a foreign movie...a film really. Just a tiny bit of nudity. It's not even frontal nudity. It's sidal.
6 24 The Understudy Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Understudy_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheUnderstudy.html
In this episode, the plot revolves around the Broadway adaptation of the fictional movie Rochelle, Rochelle starring Bette Midler.
7 1 The Engagement Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Engagement_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheEngagement.html
In this episode, the George can't go to see the fictional movie Firestorm because Susan wants to see the fictional movie The Muted Heart.
7 8 The Pool Guy Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pool_Guy https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePoolGuy.html

In this episode, Kramer discovers that his new phone number 555-FILK is one number off from 555-FILM (Moviephone). He eventually starts helping people find movie info when they misdial him. The fictional movies mentioned include Chunnel, Agent Zero, Brown-eyed Girl, Chow Fun, Cupid's Rifle, Firestorm, and Mountain High.

Chunnel is also referenced in Season 7 Episode 14 (The Cadillac - Part 1) when Kramer shouts at the cable guy from a moving cab that Chunnel is on HBO that night. Firestorm is also referenced in Season 7 Episode 1 (The Engagement) and Season 7 Episode 11 (The Rye) when George starts to discuss it with Mr. Ross but Frank stops them because he hasn't seen it yet. He likes to go in fresh.

7 20 The Calzone Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Calzone https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheCalzone.htm
In this episode, Elaine and Todd Gack are going to see the fictional movie Blame It on the Rain. They had wanted to see the fictional movie Means to an End, but it is sold out. Jerry's girlfriend Nikki uses her good looks to get two tickets for her and Jerry, but not for Elaine and Todd.
8 3 The Bizarro Jerry Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bizarro_Jerry https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBizarroJerry.htm
In this episode, the Kramer is unable to see the seven o'clock showing of the fictional movie Cold Fusion because Old Man Leland is bustin' his hump over these reports.
8 4 The Little Kicks Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Little_Kicks https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheLittleKicks.htm
In this episode, Jerry is enlisted by Kramer's friend Brody to bootleg the fictional movies Death Blow and Cry, Cry Again.
8 13 The Comeback Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Comeback_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheComeback.html

In this episode, the fictional movies The Pain and the Yearning (a Vincent pick) and The Other Side of Darkness (a Gene pick) are mentioned.

Kramer also suggests the real movie Weekend at Bernie's II to Elaine as they are browsing in the video store.

8 17 The English Patient Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_English_Patient_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheEnglishPatient.html
In this episode, Elaine's boyfriend Blaine doesnt want to see the fictional movie Sack Lunch. He wants to see the real movie The English Patient instead. Doesn't he want to know how they got in there?
8 22 The Summer of George Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Summer_of_George https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSummerofGeorge.htm
In this episode, George and Jerry team up working together at full capacity to do the job of one normal man. One of George's responsibilities is to obtain two tickets to the fictional movie Lenore's Promise.
9 20 The Summer of George Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Puerto_Rican_Day https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePuertoRicanDay.htm
In this episode, George makes a humorous comment during the fictional movie Blimp: The Hindenburg Story. That's gotta hurt!

Bonus - The Movie Posters


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The Foods

This list is a compilation of the episodes named after food. It's not a comprehensive list of all foods that constitute major or minor plot points. That list would be waaay too long.
Season Episode Title Hulu Wikipedia Script
2 11 The Chinese Restaurant Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chinese_Restaurant https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheChineseRestaurant.htm

In this episode, the plot revolves around Jerry, George, and Elaine waiting for a table in a Chinese restaurant.

"Cartwright!"

4 20 The Junior Mint Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Junior_Mint https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheJuniorMints.htm
In this episode, Jerry and Kramer are observing a surgery being performed in Elaine's ex-boyfriend Roy (the triangle artist). During the procedure, Kramer is trying to force Jerry to accept a Junior Mint. While they are tussling, the Junior Mint flies into the air, bounces off a respirator, and goes "into" the patient.
5 1 The Mango Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mango https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMango.html
In this episode, George is having "performance" issues with his girlfriend Karen. His problems appear to be solved when he eats a piece of mango that Kramer has surreptitiously obtained from Joe's fruit stand and it moves.
5 7 The Non-Fat Yogurt Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Non-Fat_Yogurt https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheNonFatYogurt.html
In this episode, the group aims to discover if their new favorite frozen yogurt place is actually non-fat.
5 15 The Pie Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pie https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePie.html
In this episode, Jerry's girlfriend Audrey refuses to try a bite of his pie at the coffee shop. She does not give a reason why and instead just shakes her head.
6 2 The Big Salad Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Big_Salad https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBigSalad.html
In this episode, there was a small miscommunication whereby Elaine thanked George's girlfriend Julie instead of the person actually responsible for purchasing the big salad.
6 7 The Soup Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Soup_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSoup.html
In this episode, Jerry has promised to take Kenny Bania out for a nice meal after receiving a free suit jacket from him. Bania decides to only have soup because he ate a hot dog earlier and is not hungry. This leads to much debate about whether soup constitutes a meal.
6 21 The Fusilli Jerry Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fusilli_Jerry https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheFusilliJerry.htm

In this episode, it is revealed that Kramer creates scuplptures of his friends out of various pasta. The hard part is to find a pasta that captures the individual. He completes Fusilli Jerry (because he's silly) and is working on one of George made out of ravioli.

In future episodes, these sculptures can occasionally be seen adorning Kramer's apartment. He also creates Macaroni Midler for Bette Midler in Season 6 Episode 23 (The Understudy).

7 6 The Soup Nazi Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Soup_Nazi https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSoupNazi.htm
In this episode, the big four and several supporting characters frequent a vendor who is callously referred to as the Soup Nazi. He's not actually a Nazi. He just happens to be a little eccentric. Most geniuses are.
7 11 The Rye Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rye https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheRye.htm

In this episode, George and his parents bring a Schnitzer's Marble Rye when they visit the Ross family. After the bread is not served with dinner, the Costanzas take the rye back with them which forces George to attempt to sneak a replacement loaf back into their home.

The topic is revisited in Season 7 Episode 15 (The Cadillac - Part 2) when Jerry again encounters the old woman from whom he stole the last Marble Rye.

7 20 The Calzone Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Calzone https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheCalzone.htm
In this episode, George ingratiates himself with Steinbrenner by sharing an eggplant calzone during a working lunch. This leads to the two regularly eating lunch together. Big Stein wants an eggplant calzone!
8 8 The Chicken Roaster Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chicken_Roaster https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheChickenRoaster.htm
In this episode, a new Kenny Rogers Roasters restaurant opens right across from Jerry's and Kramer's aparment building. This inevitably leads to sleep deprivation and chicken addiction.
8 21 The Muffin Tops Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Muffin_Tops https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMuffinTops.htm
In this episode, Elaine and Mr. Lippman go into business together launching a business that only sells the tops of the muffin and not the stump. Nobody will eat the stumps, so Elaine has to find a creative way to dispose of them.
9 1 The Butter Shave Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Butter_Shave https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheButterShave.htm
In this episode, Kramer (and eventually George) begin shaving with butter instead of shaving cream. Things take a turn when Kramer uses the butter in place of suntan oil and lays in the sun too long.
9 7 The Slicer Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Slicer https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSlicer.html
In this episode, Kramer trades in his sausage press for a deli meat slicer. Additionally, Kramer reprises his role as Dr. Martin van Nostrand by wearing his butcher's coat and impersonating a doctor at a made-up cancer screening organized by George for the purpose of getting a shirtless picture of his boss, Mr. Kruger. The slicer makes several appearances including:
  • its intended use of slicing meat for Kramer's sandwiches
  • slicing meat thin enough to slide under the door to feed Elaine's neigbor's cat
  • opening Elaine's mail
  • evening Elaine's uneven high heels
  • a (thankfully) abandoned scheme by Kramer to obtain a biopsy sample of a suspicious mole on Mr. Kruger's shoulder

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The Movies (Real)

This list is a compilation of the real life movies mentioned throughout the series.
Season Episode Title Hulu Wikipedia Script
1 2 The Stake Out Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Stake_Out_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheStakeout.htm
In this episode, Jerry and Elaine rent the movie Cocoon II: The Return at a video store. When Elaine says she guesses they didn't like it up there, Jerry posits that maybe they came back for Chinese food. While at the video store, Elaine also purchases an adult film for her friend Pamela but the title is not visible.
2 11 The Chinese Restaurant Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chinese_Restaurant https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheChineseRestaurant.htm
In this episode, Jerry lies about having a stomach ache to Uncle Leo so that he can avoid having dinner with him and instead go to see the movie Plan 9 from Outer Space. This isn't "Plans 1 through 8 from Outer Space". This is Plan 9. This is the one that worked. The worst movie ever made!
3 23 The Keys Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Keys_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheKeys.html
In this episode, when Kramer and Jerry bump into and scare each other in Jerry's darkened apartment Kramer states that he was watching the movie Thirty Seconds over Tokyo, wanted some popcorn, and used the spare keys, to get Jerry's popper.
4 20 The Junior Mint Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Junior_Mint https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheJuniorMints.htm
In this episode, George wants to watch the movie Home Alone at Jerry's apartment because if he's at his place he'll feel like he's not doing anything. When Jerry says that he thought George saw it already, George response that he saw Home Alone 2. After George watches Home Alone alone, Jerry returns to find him crying at the ending.
5 8 The Barber Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Barber_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBarber.htm
In this episode, Jerry's barber Enzo becomes emotional about the movie Edward Scissorhands.
5 18/19 The Raincoats (Parts 1&2) Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Raincoats_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheRaincoats.html
https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheRaincoats2.html
In this episode, Newman catches Jerry and Rachel making out during the movie Schindler's List.
6 5 The Couch Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Couch_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheCouch.html
In this episode, George doesn't want to read the book Breakfast at Tiffany's for a book club so he tries watching the movie instead.
6 18 The Doorman Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Doorman https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheDoorman.html
In this episode, George sees his father shirtless and discovers that he has breasts (real hooters according to Kramer). At the coffee shop the next day he tells Jerry "I was throwing up all night. It was like my own personal The Crying Game."
6 24 The Understudy Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Understudy_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheUnderstudy.html
In this episode, Jerry's girlfriend Gennice is upset that he didn't console her when she was crying during the movie Beaches. George taunts Bette Midler by telling her that he saw Beaches on cable the previous night and says "Give me a break." After Bette Midler is injured, Kramer holds her, tells her he saw Beaches for the fourth time and begins signing the song Wind Beneath My Wings.
7 10 The Gum Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gum https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGum.html
In this episode, Kramer is promoting a showing of a rare archival print of the movie Spartacus which is being shown at the Alex Theatre. It features twelve extra minutes, full wide-screen Cinemascope, and if you come to the one o'clock show, you can hear Geoffrey Harharwood.
7 14 The Cadillac (Part 1) Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cadillac https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheCadillac1.html
In this episode, returns home on two separate occasions to find George watching Marisa Tomei movies that he has seen before (My Cousin Vinny and Only You). This prompts Susan to correctly guess that George has a "thing" for her.
7 20 The Calzone Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Calzone https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheCalzone.htm
In this episode, Elaine wins a bet after Todd Gack bets her that Dustin Hoffman was in Star Wars. Jerry theorizes that he intentionally lost the bet as a kind of dating loophole where he can buy Elaine dinner without actually asking her out.
8 1 The Foundation Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Foundation_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheFoundation.html
In this episode, Jerry attempts to console the Rosses at Susan's funeral by saying "Her death takes place in the shadow of new life. She's not really dead if we find a way to remember her." from the movie Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Later in the episode, it is revealed that Kramer's "katra" pep talk to Elaine is based not on any martial arts principal, but rather it is from Star Trek III: The Search for Spock.
8 13 The Comeback Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Comeback_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheComeback.html

In this episode, Kramer suggests the movie Weekend at Bernie's II to Elaine as they are browsing in the video store. Now, that's a hilarious premise.

The fictional movies The Pain and the Yearning (a Vincent pick) and The Other Side of Darkness (a Gene pick) are also mentioned.

8 17 The English Patient Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_English_Patient_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheEnglishPatient.html
In this episode, Elaine's boyfriend Blaine wants to see the real movie The English Patient instead of her choice, the fictional movie Sack Lunch. It did win all those Oscars...
8 18 The Nap Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nap https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheNap.html
In this episode, the four are in the coffee shop discussing The Omen Trilogy. George thinks Damien is The Devil. Elaine thinks he is The Devil's Son. Jerry thinks he is The Devil's Helper. And Kramer thinks he is just a mischievous, rambunctious kid.
8 19 The Yada Yada Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Yada_Yada https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheYadaYada.htm
In this episode, Elaine unintentionally derails an adoption by recounting a time when she saw the movie Strip Tease with Beth and Arnie.
9 3 The Serenity Now Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Serenity_Now https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSerenityNow.htm
In this episode, Frank Costanza has seen a provocative movie on cable TV called The Net. He did a little reading and realized it wasn't that far-fetched. While he doesn't specifically mention the movie Speed, he does say that The Net has "that girl from the bus" referring to Sandra Bullock.
9 5 The Junk Mail Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Junk_Mail https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheJunkMail.htm
In this episode, George admits that he made up his "Summer Jerry" friend and that Whitey Fisk never in fact snuck him into Last Tango in Paris. That's too bad. It was erotic.
9 6 The Merv Griffin Show Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Merv_Griffin_Show_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMervGriffinShow.htm
In this episode, Elaine mentions that The Sidler at her workplace caught her singing Hakuna Matata from The Lion King.
9 10 The Strike Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Strike_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheStrike.htm
In this episode, the Clint Eastwood movies The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (referring to his girlfriend Gwen who is attractive one day and not attractive the next) and The Outlaw Josey Wales (when Jerry says that The Human Fund has a certain understated stupidity) are mentioned.
9 16 The Burning Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Burning_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBurning.html
In this episode, George leaves work early on a high note and spends the rest of the afternoon watching the movie Titanic. That old woman is just a liar. And a bit of a tramp if you ask me.

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The Clowns

This list is a compilation of the times clowns are brought up.
Season Episode Title Hulu Wikipedia Script
4 9 The Opera Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Opera_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheOpera.html
In this episode, Kramer is trying to get the crew to attend a performance of a Pagliacci opera. Crazy Joe Davola dons the clothes and makeup of this tragic clown.
5 20 The Fire Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fire_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheFire.html
In this episode, George attends a birthday party for his girlfriend Robin's son. The entertainment is provided by Eric the Clown (Jon Favreau).
6 6 The Gymnast Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gymnast_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGymnast.html
In this episode, it is revealed that Kramer is afraid of clowns. It is possible that this is due to the events of Season 4 Episode 9 (The Opera) as Kramer did not appear to be scared of clowns during most of that episode.
8 11 The Little Jerry Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Little_Jerry https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheLittleJerry.html
In this episode, Jerry bounces a check (adorned with clowns and balloons) at a neighborhood bodega. The bodega owner, Marcelino, has taped the bad check to the cash register. He agrees to remove the embarassing check, but only if Kramer's rooster named Little Jerry Seinfeld wins a cockfight.
9 7 The Slicer Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Slicer https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSlicer.html
In this episode, Elaine has borrowed and subsequently broken Kramer's deli meat slicer. In an attempt to avoid Kramer, she tells him she has to stop at the circus knowing he's afraid of clowns.

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The Movies (Nods)

This list is a compilation of the movies which are referenced indirectly or parodied.
Season Episode Title Hulu Wikipedia Script
3 5 The Library Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Library_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheLibrary.htm
In this episode, the Lieutenant Bookman character is modeled after the Sgt. Joe Friday character in the TV show and movie Dragnet.
3 17/18 The Boyfriend (Parts 1&2) Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boyfriend_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBoyfriend1.htm
https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBoyfriend2.htm
In this episode, Kramer, Newman, and Jerry recount an incident in which Keith Hernandez spits on Kramer and Newman. The style of ths story is a parody of the movie JFK.
5 5 The Bris Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bris https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBris.htm
In this episode, Jerry repeatedly performs his Marlon Brando impersonation from the movie The Godfather.
7 7 The Secret Code Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Secret_Code_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSecretCode2.htm
In this episode, two movies are referenced. When talking about being locked up in a prison in Turkey, Jerry speaks the phrase "Midnight Express, my friend." which is a nod to the movie of the same name. At the end of the episode, the scene in which Momma Peterman repeats George's secret code "Bosco" is meant to evoke the terminal "Rosebud" scene in the movie Citizen Kane.
8 8 The Chicken Roaster Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chicken_Roaster https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheChickenRoaster.htm
In this episode, Peterman's behavior and setting in Burma is a nod to the Col. Walter E Kurtz character played by Marlon Brando in the movie Apocalypse Now.
8 21 The Muffin Tops Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Muffin_Tops https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMuffinTops.htm
In this episode, Newman says "If I'm curt, then I appologize. But as I understand it, we have a situation here and time is of the essence." This is meant to parody Harvey Keitel's character The Wolf from the movie Pulp Fiction.
9 11 The Dealership Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dealership https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheDealership.htm
In this episode, Kramer and Rick the Car Salesman are on a test drive and clasp hands like Geena Davis and Susan Sarandon in the movie Thelma and Louise.

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The Who Is This?

This list is a compilation of the times the Who Is This? gag is used. The Who Is This? is a running joke where one character (often George) calls another (often Jerry) on the phone and (instead of saying who is calling) immediately launches into a panicked summary of a ridiculous scenario and a plea for help. The person receiving the call always knows who is calling but still asks "Who is this?" in a mocking tone for the purpose of annoying the caller.
Season Episode Title Hulu Wikipedia Script
8 3 The Bizarro Jerry Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bizarro_Jerry https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBizarroJerry.htm
GEORGE: Jerry! Jerry! My hair dryer ruined the picture! And I need another one or I can't get back into the forbidden city!
JERRY: Who is this?
8 7 The Checks Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Checks https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheChecks.html
GEORGE: Jerry! The Japanese guys had sake in the hot-tub! You gotta get 'em outta the drawers and get 'em down here, or I don't have a focus group to sell the pilot to Japanese TV!
JERRY: Uncle Leo?
8 18 The Nap Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Nap https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheNap.html
GEORGE: Jerry! Jerry! I'm trapped under my desk! Steinbrenner is in the room! You got to help me!
JERRY: Who is this?
9 5 The Junk Mail Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Junk_Mail https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheJunkMail.htm

ESTELLE: Let me put your father on the phone.
GEORGE: Ma!
FRANK: Who is this?

This portion of this (larger) exchange between George and his parents is such comedic genius that I hope it was intentional. The "who is this?" line is not delivered in the familiar mocking tone. The line is said with a serious, deadpan delivery but it has the same end result of further aggravating George. The way Frank asks who it is after Estelle says to George (who is an only child) that she's putting his father on is simply brilliant.

9 11 The Dealership Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dealership https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheDealership.htm
JERRY: Elaine, you've got to get back down to the dealer! Puddy is screwin' me on this car, which is yellow now!
ELAINE: Who is this?

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The Michigan

This list is a compilation of the times Michigan is mentioned throughout the series.
Season Episode Title Hulu Wikipedia Script
1 1 The Seinfeld Chronicles Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Seinfeld_Chronicles https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSeinfeldChronicles.htm
In this episode, Jerry is talking to George about a woman named Laura whom he met while doing a show in Lansing. She teaches political science, presumably at Michigan State University.
2 5 The Apartment Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Apartment_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheApartment.htm
In this episode, George tells Jerry about his friend Adam from Detroit who has been having women come on to him ever since he started wearing a wedding band.
4 19 The Implant Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Implant https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheImplant.html
In this episode, George travels to Detroit with his girlfriend Betsy for the purpose of attending a funeral for her Aunt Clarice.
7 21/22 The Bottle Deposit (Parts 1&2) Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bottle_Deposit https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBottleDeposit1.html
https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBottleDeposit2.html
There should be no explanation needed here.
Bonus Content: Real Life Bottle Return Scheme
9 6 The Merv Griffin Show Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Merv_Griffin_Show_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMervGriffinShow.htm
In this episode, Jerry and George have brought home movies of his boyhood trip to Michigan (along with wine and turkey) with the intent of having Jerry's girlfriend Celia fall asleep so they can play with her collection of classic toys.

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The Celebrities

This list is a compilation of celebrities who have appeared on the show as themselves.
Season Episode Title Hulu Wikipedia Script
3 17/18 The Boyfriend (Parts 1&2) Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Boyfriend_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBoyfriend1.htm
https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheBoyfriend2.htm
In this episode, Keith Hernandez appears as himself.
4 1 The Trip (Part 1) Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Trip_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheTrip1.htm
In this episode, Corbin Bernsen, Fred Savage, and George Wendt appear as themselves.
5 2 The Puffy Shirt Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Puffy_Shirt https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePuffyShirt.htm
In this episode, Bryant Gumbel appears as himself.
5 7 The Non-Fat Yogurt Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Non-Fat_Yogurt https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheNonFatYogurt.html
In this episode, Rudy Giuliani appears as himself.
6 3 The Pledge Drive Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pledge_Drive https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePledgeDrive.html
In this episode, Danny Tartabull appears as himself.
6 8 The Mom & Pop Store Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Mom_%26_Pop_Store https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMomAndPopStore.html
In this episode, Jon Voight appears as himself.
6 19 The Jimmy Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Jimmy https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheJimmy.htm
In this episode, Mel Tormé appears as himself.
6 24 The Understudy Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Understudy_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheUnderstudy.html
In this episode, Bette Midler appears as himself.
7 21 The Engagement Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Engagement_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheEngagement.html

In this episode, Jerry's close friend Mario Joyner appears as himself in the role of Jerry's friend.

Mario also appears in Season 9 Episode 20 (The Puerto Rican Day) playing the role of "Maroon Golf".

7 4 The Wink Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wink_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheWink.html
In this episode, Paul O'Neill appears as himself.
7 14 The Cadillac (Part 1) Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cadillac https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheCadillac1.html

In this episode, Marisa Tomei appears as herself.

George tries to call Marisa in Season 7 Episode 24 (The Invitations) but she hangs up on him and does not appear on screen.

8 9 The Abstinence Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Abstinence https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheAbstinence.htm
In this episode, David Letterman appears as himself.
8 22 The Summer of George Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Summer_of_George https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheSummerofGeorge.htm
In this episode, Raquel Welch appears as herself.
9 6 The Merv Griffin Show Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Merv_Griffin_Show_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheMervGriffinShow.htm
In this episode, Jim Fowler appears as himself.
9 24 The Finale (Part 2) Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Finale_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheFinale.htm
In this episode, Geraldo Rivera and Jane Wells appear as themselves.

Honorable Mention
n/a n/a Numerous n/a n/a n/a

Ruth "Ruthie" Cohen was an American character actress. Cohen had the distinction of appearing more than any other character (other than the main four) on Seinfeld. She essentially played herself as the cashier at Monk's Cafe and appeared as an extra in almost every episode. We find out in Season 7 Episode 10 (The Gum) that her name is Ruthie Cohen which means she appears as herself.

Source - https://seinfeld.fandom.com/wiki/Ruth_Cohen


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The Larry David

This list is a compilation of the times Larry David has appeared on-screen. It does not include any Steinbrenner appearances voiced by LD.
Season Episode Title Hulu Wikipedia Script
2 8 The Heart Attack Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Heart_Attack https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheHeartAttack.htm
In this episode, Larry David appears on-screen as an actor in a movie that Jerry is watching on TV.
2 11 The Chinese Restaurant Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chinese_Restaurant https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheChineseRestaurant.htm
In this episode, Larry David appears on-screen as one of the people at a table which Jerry has dared Elaine to go over to and eat an egg roll.
4 1 The Trip (Part 1) Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Trip_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheTrip1.htm
In this episode, Larry David appears on-screen in a group of people watching as the police arrest Kramer for being The Smog Strangler.
4 23 The Pilot (Part 1) Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pilot_(Seinfeld) https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/ThePilot.html
In this episode, Larry David appears on-screen as a man on a Greenpeace inflatable boat. He promises to write to Elaine about Russell's efforts.
6 4 The Chinese Woman Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Chinese_Woman https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheChineseWoman.htm
In this episode, Larry David appears on-screen as the man in a cape. He is initially seen talking with Frank Costanza on a sidewalk in Manhattan. At the end of the episode, he talks Noreen down as she's preparing to jump off a bridge.
7 10 The Gum Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gum https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheGum.html
In this episode, Larry David appears on-screen as a street vendor when George attempts to buy a pack of gum with a $20 bill on which he has doodled lipstick.

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The Best

This is the best episode.
Season Episode Title Hulu Wikipedia Script
5 22 The Opposite Watch https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Opposite https://www.seinfeldscripts.com/TheOpposite.htm

This espisode is unforgettably, undisputably, and unapologetically the best episode of Seinfeld to air over the course of the show's 9 seasons.

UPROXX and Rolling Stone don't have it in their Top 10. They're wrong.
Vulture says this episode is #3. They're wrong.
ScreenCrush says this episode is #2. They're wrong.
TVLine says this episode is #5. They're wrong...
...and they should be fucking embarassed about posting a slideshow.

It's the best, {yournamehere}. The best.

The George Story

Location Characters Plot Points
Pier Solo Stares into the Distance Contemplatively
Monk's Elaine/Jerry Decides to Do the Opposite
Opposite - Gets a Date with Victoria
Car Victoria Opposite - No Road Rage
Movie Theater Victoria Opposite - Stands Up to Hecklers
Car Victoria Opposite - Doesn't Go Up to Her Apartment
Apartment Elaine/Jerry Finds Jerry's $20
Announces Interview with Yankees
Yankee Office Solo Opposite - Unconventional Interview
Hired on the Spot
Apartment Elaine/Jerry Talks About Yankees Job
Getting New Apartment
Costanza House Jerry/Kramer Moving Out
Opposite - Tells Parents He Loves Them
Monk's All 4 Talks About Yankees Job

The Elaine Story

Location Characters Plot Points
Pendant Lippman Celebrating Promotion
Lippman Has a Cold
Monk's George/Jerry Talks About Raise and Jake Jarmel
Movie Lobby Solo Gets Message Jake Was In an Accident
Buys Jujyfruits
Hospital Jake Gets in Fight About Jujyfruits
Apartment Jerry Talks About Jake Breakup
Throws Jerry's $20 Out Window
Pendant Tina Getting Kicked Out of Apartment
Apartment George/Jerry Talks About Getting Kicked Out
Pendant Lippman Lippman Forgets Handkerchief
Lippman Can't Shake Hands
Japanese Are Offended
Monk's All 4 Pendant Deal Falls Through
Becomes George

The Jerry Story

Location Characters Plot Points
Monologue Solo Handkerchief Bit
Monk's George/Elaine Mentions Kramer's Coffee Table Book
Apartment Kramer Show Canceled / Show Offered
Apartment Solo Breaks Even at Poker
Apartment George/Elaine Talks About Even Steven
Finds $20 in Jacket Pocket
Monk's Rachel Breakup (Things Always Work Out)
Apartment George/Elaine Talks About Even Steven
Costanza House George/Kramer Agrees with George Doing The Opposite
Monk's All 4 Calls the Bill Even
Monologue Solo Coffee Bit

The Kramer Story

Location Characters Plot Points
Apartment Jerry Coffee Table Book is a Go
Labels Jerry as Even Steven
Regis & Kathy Lee Solo Spits on Kathy Lee
Pendant Lippman Lippman Still Has a Cold
Book Tour is Canceled
Costanza House George/Jerry Eats Some Hard Candy
Monk's All 4 Coffee Table Book is a No-Go

The opposite of tuna on toast + cole slaw + coffee is chicken salad on rye (untoasted) + potato salad + tea.

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Alright, that's it. That's the end of the lists. Now get out.

GET OUT
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So please go check it out and support the work of @IvanRDixon and @JacobJanerka.

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